Sunstroked in the Big Apple

New York City, 98 degrees in the shade, sitting on the subway from Fulton Street to Times Square and I am evaporating water like a squeezed sponge. Experts of the Jerry Springer School of Philosophy discuss the effect that aging has upon each other and what the fuck they can do about it and the …. the…..the…..the…..whats the word?……..process.
Times Square, where a million people mingle, fire engines honk, squad cars blast a New York City single siren every ten seconds and a vista of colour is projected up high on to the sky-high erections, and dazzle.
That smell of pretzels, bagels and smoking skewers bumps about in the air with every steak joint and pasta bar whiff known to man.
A lone black hungry schizoid is on his knees, hands clasped, reciting a prayer for all his brothers and sisters, I hear you.
A topless blonde cowgirl with stars on her garters, guitar and nipples, poses with eleven year old boys for Mommie to get one for the family album.
This is New York City life and do I love it.?
In the crowds, the police barge through, trying to find the nut who has stabbed at least four shoppers in the Mall at 14th Street. The Obama Condom vendor, engages with the tanned blonde wearing the short shorts, advising her that she has worked in this city all her life and won’t take no bullshit from no little bitch like her.
I ask women in the HardRock Cafe if they will answer questions about their body size, and they all say yes, the French, German, the Spanish and the rest of the World. The throngs of……….

We interrupt this blog to go live to Philadelphia International Airport.
Troy?
Thanks Roy, News is just coming in that tonight’s scheduled 6.45pm flight from Philadelphia International Airport to Glasgow…..n is running one hour late. latest reports suggest that there are angry mumblings amongst the pasty-faced freckly Celts. One eyewitness heard one Glasgow……n woman state :
‘Sno’ real this, neither it is”
No doubt if further delay occurs we will see you back here.
Roy?
Troy. .

………..The throngs, sit, walk, run, point, click, rant, chant and exist most probably not here, but in a safer place. For some though it is not safe, for some it is hell.
Tough.
I came here spontaneously, deciding only hours ago to arrive in downtown Broadway, and I have arrived.
Yes Sir.
I have.

Orthodox Jews scurry, drably, about, and there is a heaven in this Hades, in the form of a new David Mamet play, called Race.
I go for it, and get good seat, feet from the elite cast of Eddie Izzard and Dennis Hayesbert. It’s a top-notch dramatic observance of the truths of all our inherent racist motivations.
This type of cultural stimulation deserves after-dinner discussion, but I couldn’t eat another thing and out of that million passing by, it seems no one was is particularly hungry either.. Be like that, motherfuckers. I hear you.

Troy?
Roy, we have just heard that the Scotch travelees have been told that they must make their way from Gate 8 to Gate 22. This is quite a long walk and has burger- burn rating of a half quarter pounder. An airport spokesman was asked, what was the cause for the delay and she informed us, ‘They are Scotch, who cares’
Roy?
Troy…..

….On the subway, after hours, heading to my Hampton.
Last chance to get my most desired iconic New York Experience, breakin’ the faces of dem Bronx ho’s if they gonna be beatin, up on those college girls. A’ll bust their balls, candy ass pussy bitches . Spontaneously of course……

Troy?
Shut to fuck up Troy.
Sir, excuse me.
Shut to fuck up Troy. You too Roy. You son’s of bitches.
What’s the matter you turds?
You talking to me?
You talking to me Roy?
What you laughin at Troy?
Somethin funny?
You laughin at me ?
You talkin to me…..?

You talkin to me?

God, I hear you, I hear you.
That, I can do.
God, I hear you and will do that.
How many?
This time, how many.
God I hear you……

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