American Beauty

If there is one thing that makes it understandable, sometimes, to see why Al Qaeda wants to declare a Jihad on the United States of America, it is the sight of men of all ages in shorts of various lengths, half up the calf white socks, uncomplimented by white running trainers.
What you get is spindly nobbly, lardy, cobbly, dangly, wobbly, limpy, gangly, gimpy lower limbs planted within awkward oversized athletic footwear, that one would normally see advertised in a sophisticated form of media, usually worn by a sportsman of considerable beauty and exquisite physique. Now to get that exquisite physique, I reckon, one would have to refrain from eating 20lbs of shit every two hours, or if you are gonna eat 20lbs of shit every two hours then maybe some exercising would be required to maintain that Adonis effect.
It could be reverse psychology though. Those dudes could be wearing that gear to send out the message I can talk the talk but I sure ai’nt gonna be walking no walk especially as they couldn’t even walk the length of themselves, and it so much put’s me off my waffles with syrup and butter and honey, first thing in the morning.
As for the women, well, they are all simply beautiful, blonde, slender, honey-tanned, blue-eyed, sparkly shiny smiling short-shorts wearing babes, that’s the ones I was looking at anyways.
Note the slight lingual Americanisms creeping in. I just love the way Americans speak, just like in all those films you see. They are confident, clear, expressive, animated, non-mono, but a quite a bit nasal and loud. You see how I generalise, cos for sure I have met folks from all the different States, but then thataways it aint no different with them folks when they say it’s nice to meet y’all coming all the way from England. To differentiate, they should know though that us Scot’s are the mean looking mumblin’ sons of bitches.
I got on a bus to down town San Antonio for a dollar ten. It’s good to go on a local bus, and smell the local habitatters. I ain’t never been on a bus back home for a mighty long time, so I wouldn’t know what no bus fare was a costing. So do people with electric wheelchairs get on the bus back home by having the bus driver activate a ramp to allow the mobility challenged passenger to get on, and does our bus driver than ask the people who are sitting on the seats reserved for those wheelchair dudes, to go find another seat, so that he can fold back those same seats to allow that little o’l cart to park snugly into that space. Does our bus driver then lock in that cart with chain restraints making sure that that man in the chariot is safe and when its time for that gal or guy to get off, does our bus driver get out of his seat again, and calmly under pressure from honking traffic, and with dignity get that l’il ol’ cripple off the bus.
No, I don’t think so. God Bless you American Bus Driver.
God bless you America


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